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So it may look like I am giving up all control, but I am really not. I would never try BDSM with someone I could not trust absolutely to respect limits. Anyway.. I think that puberty can be awkward for LOTS of people, regardless of gender identity, so throw some questions about gender on top of the regular possibility of feeling a bit awkward when you go through puberty and grow into your own bodyand that can be a bit rough.You’re not doomed, though! I think that, first and foremost, self acknowledgment is a really powerful and brave act. Even just writing this question moves you further along in your journey of discovery. You mentioned feeling like you’ve been lying to yourself and repressing these thoughts, but I’d urge you to be patient and compassionate with yourself.

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I go to college one day a week to learn theory about my apprenticeship, and by a stroke of luck one who used to be one of my best friends now goes to the same college. But he doesn’t seem to want to meet up with me or anything for some reason, so. I dunno.

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